The Last Supper

With a title of "The Last Supper" you may think this entry is about a dinner or feast that we have had.  But it is actually about painting.  One of the very many lessons that the Lord has taught me in my time here is that my dreams realized in Him are so much greater than any dream I could think up for myself.  What does this mean?

Well, when I went to College for the first time right out of High School, my dream was to be an artist.  I wanted to paint and draw for a living and help people, so I majored in Art Therapy.  But a tragic thing occurred.  I failed!  I failed my art class.  Not because I wasn't any good, but because I messed up my final piece.  That is a different story though.  I failed, which meant that my dream died with that failure.  I got married and started having babies.  I never went back to college.

That failure has always haunted me.  Always wondering if I would have stuck with it, what would have happened?  Levi and I dove into Revolution Church with fervor and pursued God.  We raised our family in the church and ministry opportunities afforded me with the chance to use my creative talent.  But I still felt like a failure.  Not an artist.  Never an artist.

Art became a hobby.  A release and a time of peace.  But I never liked anything I painted.  Always finding flaw and seeing the errors.  Never really the beauty.

I have always felt like being an artist was a selfish dream and one that would never be realized in my lifetime.  Then God said "Go to Helene".  So we went.  My dreams placed on hold. Here we are.  Trying to figure out life living in a giant cabin on the island.  God asked me to be a missionary here.  To spend time leading people closer to Jesus.  When Brittany came to the island for a short two week visit, it was so evident that she possessed many talents.  She was well spoken, well versed in being a missionary, medically inclined etc., and very artistically talented.  One of her projects she wanted to complete was restoring the painting in the church next door.  It just needed to be touched up and repaired a bit.  A painting of "The Last Supper".

She didn't have time to do this.  So I jumped at the chance to "help" and soon took on the project of restoring the painting.  God is pretty amazing.  It's crazy how I thought I needed to place my dreams on hold to do His work.  I forgot that God knows my heart.  I forgot that He knows what makes me tick....He made me.  He knows what brings me joy.  It's a simple task to some, but oh the joy it is and an honor to restore the church painting.  It is no small feat either.  There is no Hobby Lobby in which to buy paints.  No store with tons of different reds and browns and blues.  It required a trip down island, and just the purchase of the primary colors and black and white.  I have to try to make the palette that the original artist had and it is very colorful indeed.  At first I felt unsure and intimidated, but as I began to paint I realized that I knew what I was doing.  That I didn't need to be the same kind of artist.  I didn't need to be perfect, I just needed to be willing.  I just needed to give it my all and allow God to give me strength to complete the task at hand.

I was able to restore the bottom third of the painting so far.  Creating a palette of browns and black to try to match the colors well.  I left my insecurity behind and realized that the islanders would find whatever I did to be beautiful and well done for the Lord.  My dream is being realized in my willingness to be a part of the work God is already doing.  I think in America we compartmentalize everything.  I think that I thought being an artist and missionary and teacher etc., were all separate dreams.  They aren't.  God knows my heart.  He knows your heart.  He knows what you desire and what He has given to you as a skill set.  His desire is that your skills and talents are used to the best of their ability.  Not fur selfish gain, but rather for the glory of Him.  It's so easy for me to get lost in pride and regret, but here in this experience of chasing after God, I have found that He never left me and prepares me accordingly for the jobs He has already lined up.  I've attached a picture of the painting so you can see it, but I assure you it is much more glorious in person.  You will have to come here and visit my new found home in Helene to see how God used me to be an artist for the Methodist Church members right next door.  My cooking friend goes to the church and I know she will appreciate the hours I put into her painting that makes her think of her Jesus.

I am an artist.  I am a mother.  I am a teacher.  I am a friend.  I am a cook.  I am a missionary.  And so much more thanks to Jesus Christ my Lord.

~written by Cassie Riley